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Confession, re Tagline Above

I know that PGW actually wrote something like, "'Do try not to be so maddening, Bertie! I have enough to bear without your imbecilities." I like my version better. At least for the purposes of this page, that is. Far be it from me to criticize the slightest comma of the Master's collected works, available in a handsome softcover edition from Penguin for the paltry sum of ...

Jerk of the Week™

Wherein moioci institutes a recurring series meant to skewer outrageously obnoxious pronouncements seen online.

Case in point, and this week's winner, Louis P. Sheldon, in an op-ed in the LA Times in reference to proteges of (Republican) Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney:

In the last election cycle, Romney followed the Schwarzenegger victory formula to the letter. He helped bankroll a field of more than 120 mostly liberal Republican candidates to run as a "reform" slate against incumbent state legislators. Not one of these candidates mentioned the word "abortion" and, if you can believe this, in Massachusetts of all places, no Romney-endorsed candidate talked about homosexual marriage. That is the equivalent of running for office in Iowa and not mentioning farming. [emphasis mine]

Color me gobsmacked.

So, homosexual marriage is now the foundation of the Bay State economy? Or does it go deeper than that? Is he in fact suggesting that the very identity of Massachusetts is inextricably tied up with homosexual marriage? I dunno, Lou. Is it just barely possible that in Massachusetts, that azure preserve, these candidates got the idea that hate and intolerance were not milestones on the path to the state legislature? I also love the implication that if these losers had only had the balls to get out there and slam homosexual marriage properly, the statehouse would be theirs. Perhaps the state would then have gone for Bush, as God intended. Surely there could be no other possible reason for their defeat. Wusses!

Don't you dare comment!!! [/reverse psychology]

Nobody expects ... the American Imposition (of Imperialism)

Really nice prose from Sadly, No! (which had been mysteriously replaced by a photo-sharing site).

[In response to:]

Socialism, communism, anarchy and monarchy are not what this country was designed to run on.

[Sadly writes:]

This country runs on one thing: twinkies. And Krispy Kreme donuts. This country runs on two things: twinkies, Krispy Kreme donuts, and an almost fanatical devotion to George Bush. Amongst the things this country runs on are such diverse elements as...

Simply brilliant. (edited to restore the Sadliness)

Still Searching...

Wanted: 1 raison d'etre, medium, beige or charcoal preferred. Will find a good home at this very location. In return I offer only the warm sense of satisfaction available to those who no longer need their existence justified and thus can provide hand-me-down service. Scanning various random blogs, I find many with only 1 or two entries. We're posts and posts beyond that point here at Imbecilities, so there!

How Novel!

Speaking of blogging your novel (we were discussing that, weren't we?), I've given it some thought. Sounds great. The only problem is you kinda need a novel to blog. And in order to do that, you sorta have to make up some stuff. Actually, a buncha stuff.

In order to delight one's readers with the confectionery of the mind, the aspiring novelist must erect an edifice composed of two essential building blocks, as it were: compelling characters, who seem as real as our fellow churchgoers; captivating plot, which sweeps us up in its seeming inevitability; and cogent descriptions, which, like concealed lighting, illuminate without calling attention to themselves.

Whatever.

Interconceptual Napkins

I wouldn't have had any idea what such a phrase could possibly mean except for the food court where I work. See, there's three stations, stands, uh, whatchemacallits [the marketing folks surely have a nifty term for them] all lined up behind a counter: Subway, Chick-fil-A, and something called Target Grill (which apparently means cold stuff you wouldn't have wanted when it was fresh). Once, when I got to the cashier at the end of the row, I looked at the condiment stand and saw straws, lids, utensils, and ketchup packs, but no napkins. I asked the cashier where the napkins were.

"Napkin dispensers are located between each of the three concepts." And so they were.

Geez, November Already

I have to confess that, for the duration of the Electo-Rama, I have been strictly a consumer of bloggage, but now am feeling blognanimous. (Is that a googlewhack, or whatever you call it?)* Anyway, back to the same old grind. Forget aspirations of normalcy at the top. And remember, 48% might as well be -48% in the view of certain highly-placed micropsyches. (I intend that to mean those of small-minded disposition, no matter their IQ.) I was so looking forward to a reprieve from the totalitarian-tendin' tongue-tied Texan terror. (and Laura thinks she knows something about alliteracy in America)

BTW, checking Google, each of my would-be neologisms comes up with one hit. This fills me with blognacity, and if you have to ask what that means, then you should just leave its use to professionals, sweetheart. It is ok to comment, though.

* Update: No, it's not, a googlewhack, that is. A googlewhack is "that elusive query (two words - no quote marks) with a single, solitary result!" I don't know what you call a word appearing on only one page, or none. Perhaps the self-referential neogoogleism would suffice.

Because I have so much spare time...

... and there's really so few blogs out there. Turns out that most of the bloggers I actually read have doctoral degrees, but not Dr. Reynolds. That is, I know he has some kind of doctorate, but I don't read his blog. With competition like that, just anyone should start up a blog.

Y'know -- maybe they just did!