Thursday, March 01, 2007

My Contribution to Conservapedia

[I posted this today at Conservapedia under Gravitation, Theory of. Within about twelve minutes, it was deleted and I was blocked. Good thing I had a backup!]

Gravitation, Theory of

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The name given to the hypothesis that bodies undergo mutual attraction related to the amount of matter they contain. This was first proposed by Sir Isaac "Figg" Newton in his publication in AD 1687 of Philosophiae Naturalis Principia Mathematica. Newtonism is the term applied to belief in Gravitation, and Newtonists it's adherants.

Criticisms of Newtonism

Christians readily agknowledge the existence of microgravity, which is what causes a baby's sippy cup to fall to the floor when released, because it has been observed many times in the laboratory setting. Where they take issue with newtonists is with regard to macrogravity, the attraction between large celestial bodies. This has never been reproduced in the laboratory, nor have gravitons, which would have to exist to transmit the attractive force, been observed, despite years of fruitless search.

Newtonism requires that these forces be present constantly, but the microgravity on our planet can be nullified by the use of a specially equipped aircraft.

Godless engineers are reluctant to admit it, but gravitationism is readily disproved by the First Law of Murphy, not to mention Cole's Law.

Social Implications

Critics of newtonism are quick to point out that Alfred Einstein relied on Newton's work to formulate his widely discredited theories of Einsteinism, without which Korean dictator Kim Jung Ill would have been hard-pressed to develop his widely-discredited armamentarium. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as the Long Dong and the Taepodong 2. The conclusion is inescapable: no Newton, no Long Dong.

Newtonism's principles also played a key role in the notorious Apollo Hoax of the AD 1960s and early AD 1970s, which was perpetrated by the so-called rocket surgeons of NASA on all Americans.